i went with my mum to a ballet tonight. i've never been to a ballet before... and my father had bought her two tickets for her birthday to see "the hiding place", and so she invited me. now... first of all, i didn't even KNOW it was going to be a ballet. i thought it was just a play. so when mum said in the car on the way there how excited she was to finally be able to see a ballet, i'm thinking... "the hiding place... ballet? really? how are they going to do that???".
but it was beautiful. very beautiful. moved me to tears... but not the actual dancing. because honestly, in the first 20 minutes, i was wondering what the big hoopla was over ballet, except for the fact that they can stand on the tippy toes. that was pretty impressive, i have to admit.
anyway, what moved me to tears, was the story. i already knew the story, because i've read the book AND seen the movie, so i was able to follow the wordless show well enough. every time i read about things like this... the slavery, the oppression, the abuse and awful hatred that makes humanity capable of the cruelest things... i can't help but look at my life, and first ask a question...
...God, why them? why not me? in the sense of... He could have created me to be born in that time. He could have created me to be a part of that race. He could have created me to be one of the orphaned children whose lives consist of walking during the day to a new place to hide when the sun goes down from the LRA. He could have given me parents who desired money or drugs more than me and sold me into sex slavery for a mere months wages.
He didn't, though.
so i have two ways i can look at it. do i look at it like a typical, self-centered american and say, "geez, that's too bad. hopefully someone's going to take care of that. sure glad it's not me.". or do i look at it the way i feel He wants me to: i'm not in their situation. but He has given me resources to help, to do something about those situations.
i'm not saying i don't ever forget how much i have and get very self-centered. i do. i'm a very selfish person, and i'm working on that. but knowing the things i know... i can't let myself live this life that i've lived so naturally for SO long anymore. i can't see people in that kind of state, and say i don't have enough to do anything about it. i know i can't fix it all, and i don't expect to, but that's no excuse, and shouldn't be ANYBODY'S excuse not to give or help what's going on.
i waste so much time... so much money... on really stupid, and absolutely temporary things. and later, i feel sick. and sometimes, i spend more time ranting than i do actually taking action. i've got a lot of changes to make. i've got a lot of things i need to start being more thankful for.
"By this we know love, that He laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:16-18 ESV)
"heal my heart and make it clean,
open up my eyes to the things unseen.
show me how to love like You have loved me.
break my heart for what breaks Yours,
EVERYTHING i am for Your kingdom's cause,
as i walk from earth into eternity..."
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