Cajun.

I know I've probably said this before... But I love food. And if there's one thing I can say about the state I come from, it's that we make really good food. Louisiana is proud of its Cajun cooking, and it's with good reason. I can't get enough crawfish (and in étouffée!), jambalaya, muffulettas, gumbo, red beans and rice (heavy on the sausage)... I could go on. 

I'll confess, I'm obsessed with the classic dishes. You know, the ones I've named, the ones we've all heard of. I've not tried the more "gourmet" dishes that are filled with even too much weirdness for me. I haven't had too much chance, since I now live in the Lone Star state. But I might, if someone were willing to split it with me. Now, I've had frog legs (tastes like chicken), and I never want to eat gator again. But I told you, I'm trying to be more of a yes person, and if the opportunity comes up to try a new Cajun dish, I'm taking it.

My sister and her husband lived very near New Orleans over ten to fifteen years ago, and having visited the city several times, I've fallen in love with it. I know of it's reputation, and the place does smell like garbage, yes... But there's so much good to see. And taste.

Good gracious, the tastes. I have my favorite places in New Orleans. Favorite place to get coffee and beignets, favorite place to get a muffuletta, to get a po-boy. And I've been wanting to take a weekend trip back for a very long time now. I've literally been craving it.. And every now and then, I do my best (with my sweet husbands help) to have a full out Cajun day. It usually falls around Mardi Gras, because it's at this point I can get a King Cake, and that's when all of my Louisiana cravings go wild.

Now, the perfect day would start with a cup of café au lait and beignets. Beignets are squared shaped, fried dougnets covered in piles of powdered sugar (word to the wise, don't inhale when you eat them). Lunch would either be jambalaya with loads of shrimp and sausage, or red bean and rice, also with tons of sausage, both dishes accompanied with Louisuana hot sauce. Dinner, would be gumbo over rice. I haven't had really good gumbo in years. We had a family friend who would put gumbo over angel hair pasta, and it was delicious.. And for dessert, I would eat cream cheese filled King Cake and watch The Princess and The Frog. And it would be such a happy day..

I won't get that day today, but I'll get a good sampling of it. I've ordered my King Cake and am picking it up today. The hubs and I are going to make red beans and rice since it's the most cost efficient dish. 

And my gift to you, after reading a blog that surely has your mouth watering, is the information where you can order your own cake.

shopsucre.com

You're welcome.

 

"While there's Life, there's hope."

The above is "Life" magazines first motto. Later, it became "To see Life; see the world". But it you're like me, and have seen what is now my new favorite movie (and will be soon reading the short story it's based off of), you just love the movie motto so much better..

 “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” -The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty (Fictional "Life" magazine quote)

What a story. I've not felt so inspired after a movie, I think... ever. And I know that's exactly what it was meant to do, but after watching it on a date with the hubs, we both walked out feeling like it was written for us. 

Not that we've really lacked the courage to make big leaps. On the contrary, we've made several risky moves. Leaps of faith. They haven't always worked out the way we thought they would... In fact, I'm not sure any of them have. I think what's happened nearly every time is just a lack of financial resources to finish out the journey. It's like packing your bags, using nearly all your resources to pay for a plane ticket, and arriving at your destination only to find that your accommodations have been canceled. You exhausted all your cash and energy on the trip there, and now you can't move forward. You can't even really move backward. The door closed in front of you and the one behind you is jammed. Those times have really tested and refined our faith, and we certainly have some stories to tell. I think we're still very much recovering from those trips that just didn't work out. All that said though, we really have had some amazing adventures together that were completely on purpose and left a deep hunger inside us for more. Alas, most adventures, especially the bigger ones, they require loads of cashola.

I know we all wish a huge, lump sum of money would just show up on our doorstep to provide for said adventures. And I know my husband and I aren't the only ones wishing we were employed to travel the world, tasting and trying everything, taking photographs of glorious places.. (How does one get this kind of job, anyway?)

And if we had that kind of financial backing, we wouldn't be ones cooped up in a ridiculous mansion only coming out now and again to shop for cars and Gucci shoes. We would build a small cottage on a few acres either here or in Ireland, and then we'd just go. We'd do and see and taste it all. 

I believe all of these things were created for our enjoyment and to ultimately bring God glory. And I believe He smiles and is glorified when we delight in the things He created. As much as I desire to see all the radiant wonders of this world, and I really can't express how much I do, I can't imagine the radiance He holds in His kingdom that we'll get to enjoy with Him forever. So, I know I won't be missing out if I don't get to see the far reaches of this earth before my years are gone. I've much more to look forward to. 

But, man... 

For now, until I'm able to go out and cross those bigger things off my bucket list.. I'm making it my personal mission to say yes to opportunities I'm faced with that most of me wants to say no to (this does not include any opportunities that would invite diseases). I've already been doing this and am kicking myself for all the times I've passed up the chance to say yes. You must understand, this is coming from a person that does not like opening a door unless she knows precisely what's on the other side. I like to be prepared for anything. Everything. It's why my "overnight" bag always has 5 different outfits! That specific probably won't change. Not gonna "yolo" on that one.

So, I encourage you to be adventurous. However big or small. If it means cliff jumping, or trying a different entrée at a restaurant you're always too afraid to try something new at because their cheese enchiladas are just the best and you don't want to be disappointed. Being a creature of habit can certainly be comforting... But there is nothing adventurous about it. So get out there. Try the chalupas. It's ok if you still like the enchiladas better, but at least you tried something new! 

And please, please, please please... Whoever you are, please watch "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". 

Settled.

As stated previously, my life is full of transition. Nearly three months ago, I wrote about how important it's been for me to be grounded on nothing by Christ. For me, everything else in this life changes. I don't know what it means to be physically settled, the way most of America seems to understand it, anyway. But because my peace comes from someone infinitely greater than all we can imagine it would take to give us that "settled" feeling, and stands outside of the realm of time, (something I however, admittedly do occasionally fear I'm losing far too quickly) I actually do have the feeling of being settled.

It's odd to even me. Because I once stressed so much over this. It doesn't help when your friends and family, however extended some of them may be, give you grief over not having done life the way they believe you should have. And even now, in our lives together (I and my hubby) I know we're not settled. Not by American standards anyway... But I'm so happy. I mean, I'm really happy. I have a God that does not fail me, a husband that loves me unconditionally, a dog who, despite all her stubbornness is still my precious little darling, an adorable apartment we've recently moved into and affectionately dubbed our "hobbit hole", and a job that (I've never been able to say this) I love. 

Did you catch my bit of news thrown in there?

Our life has taken on a handful of new transitions. One of which I hope and pray never changes. The other two are recognized as temporary, and we're just fine with that. That first one though...

There were sketchy things happening at my husband's job, not to mention the high levels of stress and crazy long hours that left us both feeling that it was time for a change. It did take me a bit longer to agree, only because I was afraid whatever change ensued would mean my going back to work. Now please don't think that I find myself above work, I don't. But finding a job. That's the task that feels so entirely daunting. Well with all my husband's experience and good reputation, he found one fast. It was now down to me to find something... I went to several places to hand in my resume, but I wasn't really in love with any of them. But there is a place here in town that is in the business of vintage sales and rentals. I'd been in before, and the owners were always so very friendly, and I had hard time keeping myself from drooling over all of their products. It's family owned, and so I didn't have high hopes in getting on with them, but I thought in their line of business, they'd surely know of other companies doing similar things who might need some help. I walked in, and long story short, they were actually looking for some part time/seasonal help. I talked with them a while, falling even more in love, and left my information. They called a couple of days later, and needless to say... I got on!!

I have never loved work so much. When I'm not there, I miss being there. The work and the people. I absolutely adore the people I work for and with, and my work is so much fun. I've found my niche. I never want to leave. However, they were fully staffed before I got there and now that the holidays are over, I may be more a sort of on call employee for those occasional weekends when they need extra help again. I'm praying for this business to prosper. Not only for the sake of the dear people running it, but so that I may have work as well! We will see over the next few weeks if I need to find a second job.

As for our apartment... This is our second time living in this exact same, little efficiency. We lived here after we moved back from Missouri for several months, only two years ago. It has every bit of charm and character you'd find in an old Irish pub, except for loud and heavily accented old Irishmen. Our landlords/neighbors are wonderful people who we love very much and are as dear to us as family. It's not much, but it's certainly enough. It's also one of those things I mentioned that we recognize as temporary, but for now I have to say, we really are enjoying it... Much more than I honestly thought we would. It's bursting with love and drinks and good cooking that is shared between roofs right next to each other. It has a home feeling. This is what a community should be like.

I'm not sure what the next move will be. I really don't. We know what our dreams are, just not quite sure how to get there. But I still have peace. I have joy. I didn't know they could come so easily... But it's certainly only by the grace of God that I believe it does.

The Lord is my Rock.

Psalm 18:2

"The Lord is my Rock..."

We walk on an a ground that is constantly shifting, covering a planet that is constantly spinning. Time cannot be stopped, it is always in motion, thus we age. Everything on this earth ages. It is not meant to be preserved, so neither are our bodies.

"The Lord is my Rock..."

I work so hard to still and settle my physical life. As if I'm meant to stay here forever. For the last five years, I've lived more as a vagabond than anyone I've ever personally met, though not without anything I've needed. I've grown so, so weary of it. And every time I see a new transition arising, I cry out and beg God to make it stop, to make it better. Give me a miracle. A better option than having to so difficultly transition. Because I don't want to deal with this situation. Not again. I want to physically rise out of it and into a comfortable, settled life. 

"The Lord is my Rock..."

We're in the middle of one of those transitions again. For about the ninth time. No lie. And some days I'm more confident that it'll all work out, things are going to be even better... And then there are days like today where I come back to the fear that it won't, and I have to call my husband (who is, by the way, the very best companion in any life I could have ever been given, but especially for this life of ours) and ask him for reassurance. Because though everything has indeed every time worked out alright, we've been through some pretty uncomfortable, inescapable situations.

"The Lord is my Rock..."

He assigned me to take his father's bible and my breakfast outside onto the back porch patio where, we have one of the most gorgeous views of our relatives land. We're currently renting a house from them, and their land stretches out behind the house, roamed by horses and chickens. There is a delightful amount of yellow wildflowers and trees, and additionally therefore, a large variety of singing birds. He tells me to read in Psalms for just however long I like. I opened to Psalm 18, where his father has underlined the first two verses. And in the start of the second verse, I can't get past those first words, "The Lord is my Rock..."

When my life is almost completely up in the air, teeming with more uncertainties than anything solid, a rock is what I want. But for my life. My physical, oh so temporary life. I want to make my camp, so to speak, on a rock. I want to stop moving, and just be grounded, so I can have the ability to be happy and peaceful, and enjoy life before it runs out. 

"The Lord is my rock..."

I don't know if you ever played on a merry-go-round as a child. And I don't know that if you did, that you abused it and played the way I and my friends did. There was nothing merry about it. It was basically holding on for dear life. Wrapping your limbs around the bars and having the strongest of the group spin it so fast that you were certain beyond the slightest doubt that you looked identical to the scene towards the end of "Twister" -your body completely airborne and hanging on by your own grip. If you've played this game, and seen this movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about, and I hope the memory of it has humored you as much as it has me this morning. 

All that to say... This is what I've imagined my life looks like. You don't know if you can hold on through the spinning, and if you lose your grip, where you're going to land when you fall off, and you don't know if you're going to come out with an injury or even the ability to walk straight if you can get up. How can you have peace in the midst of spinning like that? How can you be joyful when everything is so chaotic? 

"The Lord is my Rock..."

He stands not only in heaven and outside of this earthly realm, but outside of time. He sits on an immovable throne. He's always been and always will. I think that's why they compared Him to a rock. Rocks don't die.. They kind of just, are. They are solid, and even as the world keeps shifting and aging, they just ARE. 

And I've been begging my immovable, unchanging God to be my Rock by means of pinning me down into a situation I'd prefer. I've asked Him more for fixes to my physical situations (which have never been altogether unlivable, just uncomfortable and unpreferable) than for peace. I've been asking Him to preserve a happy, comfortable physical circumstance, rather than peace for the only thing He made in me that will preserve. My mind... My soul. 

"The Lord is my Rock..."

He is the peace, the calm and confidence for my heart, my mind and soul. Everything will change around me. I'm not saying He doesn't want me to be happy. He loves me, and I know that. He created all of these beautiful and wonderful things that we can enjoy, all gifts from Him. I think those things are reflections of what we'll get to eternally experience after this life. But in a world that rebels against the way we were created to live, which is a life of fellowship with our Creator, things will shift. They'll be hard, really hard sometimes. But I'm en route to a land that never dies. And so for now, on this decaying, ever changing planet, the Lord is my Rock. The only thing my soul can grasp onto with confidence. My mind doesn't have to reflect my situation. It can stand firm, have peace, and reflect more the stability of the God who created it. He can and will be the fortress and refuge for my heart though wars and storms rage against and around it. 

job search.

Well, I'm not the avid blogger I hoped to be with not having to work and all... But I found other things to fill my time with, not to mention that our last move put us in an area inaccessible to wifi. My Aunt and Uncle next door still have dial up. No joke.

Anyways, the latest news for you is that it looks like I'll be looking for a work again. I won't say it's definite, and I'm not sure how soon. But I'm pretty sure. For now I'm leaving off the details because my focus is more... What in the world I'm going to do. 

I'll be honest. Every time it's come to this point in my life (new job/job search), I panic. I worry so much over it. And anytime I'm stressed, my body takes the initiative to match my mental stress with reactions that make absolutely no sense. There was one time years ago my toes were completely numb for two months. The old stand by is horrible stomach cramps. But this time around, my body is doing something new. Chest pains and wheezing. What??? I mean, I really feel like a loser for this. And it's of course out of my control. Any time I've talked myself out of being stressed mentally, my body continues to rebel. Awesome. 

It shouldn't be this way. Seriously, nearly everyone works. It's what we do. Everyone has a job. Why does it have to be such a big deal? But I flip out. I do. Maybe it comes down to the fact that I don't feel like I have too much to my credit. I mean, I don't have a degree, really any college experience. I have other experience. I've been a full time nanny, salon receptionist, house cleaner, and have worked a couple of retail gigs. And despite working in those different areas for a few years each, and having experience with the exact type of people I'd like to avoid, I feel totally unprepared to step back into it all. 

The truth is, people can be rather rotten. And though I know how to be friendly, I'm finding out more and more than I'm actually more of an introvert. I have a very select few people I'm ok with being around at almost any time. But otherwise, I really like to be by myself. I'll say it again. I KNOW how to be friendly, and social. And it's easy to do it with people who reciprocate. I just hate running into the people who set you up for failure by being THAT person who, despite your best efforts can NOT make them happy. I really know how to let those people drain me of any possible hope to have a better day from then on out. 

Do I sound completely pitiful yet?

So I can't sleep for thinking... What AM I doing to do? I've been lying here thinking of my qualities, while also thinking of the things I really DON'T want to do. I'm good at customer service, have organizational skills, integrity, am committed to doing a job honestly and right... I like to decorate... I don't like... To get yelled at, deal with snooty women, senile seniors, or intimidating men. Which you know, is pretty unavoidable. I have next to no necessary kind of computer experience. I refuse to push anything on people. Especially things they don't need. 

I've never wanted to BE anything... Except the wife of my husband. Only dream I ever had, and am happily living it. So you see why this puts me in a bind. I know most argue that a job isn't something to enjoy. But I would really like to find one I could enjoy... So if you toss those details about myself together, what do you get? Because I've got nothing... I mean, nothing. And what's more depressing is that I'm sending this question out there, and I'm highly unlikely to get any replies. 

But if any of you out there know of a position for someone to be given different areas, rooms or displays to organize and decorate, I'm your woman. I don't have any credentials to back me up on that, but I'd be more than happy to be tested and given a chance to show what I can do. 

Have a lovely night...